It’s Time for College Students to Grow Up
Adolescence refers to the stage in a child’s life right before they reach adulthood. Psychologists have recently used the term “extended adolescence” to describe the stage of life of most college students and recent college graduates. Bret Stetka, writer for Scientific American claims that “25 is the new 18” implying that it is taking longer and longer for children to reach adulthood. Extended adolescence leads to a countless list of problems that we won’t cover in this article. Rather, we will look at two common characteristics that children share with today’s college student and a biblical approach to growing up.
1. Children don’t manage their time well. My two-year-old son, Caleb, does not plan out his day. My wife and I plan it for him. Even through high school the majority of a child’s day is planned for them. When a child reaches college they are not well equipped to make decisions on how best to spend their time. It is a common complaint on the college campus to be overwhelmed and lacking in time. In a recent survey of over 30,000 college students, 90% said they felt overwhelmed with all they had to accomplish. Yet, another survey by CNN discovered that the average college student devotes over 10.5 hours a day to looking at a screen and consuming media. That is more time than the average working American spends at his job! This is not only a huge waste of time, but is also overloading our minds with that which does not spur us on spiritually.
(Colossians 3:1-2) says “If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. 2 Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth.”
As believers we need to fill our minds with God’s Word and not with what culture tells us is important. Gary Keller in his book The One Thing says “Things which matter most must never be at the mercy of things which matter least.” Time with God matters most. Yet, when we fail to plan we unconsciously grab our phone or the controller and fill the gaps in our day with what matters least; watching 5 hours of Netflix, staying up all night trying to beat Fortnite for the 47th time and so on. It is of utmost importance for college students to create a weekly schedule, first planning for time alone with God followed by planning out personal responsibilities. Find a planning app or buy a planner to get started. Write in what’s important; time with God, time to study, time to meet with people, etc. Part of reaching adulthood is spending your time like an adult. It happens through careful planning. Fail to plan, plan to fail.
2. Children are selfish in relationships. My son’s two favorite phrases are “my turn” and “mine” because he is selfishly looking out for #1. Most college students are no different. We view college as the four years we get to spend selfishly before we settle down. We selfishly make our “list” when it comes to dating, making 29 make or break characteristics about a person all centered around making us happy. Advice for those single and ready to mingle: focus more on becoming the man or woman that is ready for marriage than trying to find the perfect person to marry. Guys, you selfishly spend your time playing video games, skipping class, eating junk food and most harmfully, looking at pornography. There is nothing more selfish than looking at porn because it trains your mind to think that women are simply there for your own pleasure. It will ruin your marriage in the future. Advice for those struggling with pornography: find an accountability partner and set up Covenant Eyes on all of your devices immediately. Remember guys, God set you as the head of your future household so make sure you build godly habits, not selfish habits, in your life that will carry on throughout your marriage. Girls, you selfishly spend your time tearing down others with your words, watching an overwhelming amount of Netflix and being consumed with your image. God created the wife to be a helper so seek to help and bring life to others with your words and actions. Seek to find your true identity in your relationship with Christ. Advice for growing into a selfless, not selfish, adult: begin serving your roommates selflessly like you would if they were your spouse or child.
Another relationship in which we can view selfishly is our relationship with the local church. It is becoming more and more common for this generation to “watch” church on their laptop Sunday morning or go to church when they feel like it. We are also becoming more and more critical of our churches. We show up with the mindset of “I better be entertained, feel something and enjoy the message.” Jesus laid down His life for His church, yet we show up on Sunday morning like consumers, ready to fill out a negative online review if we weren’t completely satisfied with the service. We certainly are not looking for ways to serve others or become a participating member of the body. But instead, we selfishly tear down and neglect Christ’s body by failing to speak highly of it and use our gifts to serve it.
College student, if you truly want to grow up then my biggest piece of advice is to commit to a solid, gospel-centered church. This is also my biggest piece of advice on how to make the challenging transition from college to the “real world.” Nancy Leigh DeMoss says this: Being disconnected from the local church, for whatever reason, is a dangerous way to live. Not only do these “lone rangers” miss out on the blessings of functioning within the context of the body of Christ, but like lone sheep away from the safety of the flock and the watchful care of the shepherd, they are vulnerable to predators of every sort. I challenge you to ask your pastor for ways that you can serve the church and get more plugged in to the community.
In conclusion, remember that apart from Christ we will always fail to manage our time wisely and will constantly treat others selfishly. Praise be to God that He sent His one and only Son into the world to spend every moment bringing glory to His Father and serving us. Jesus had every reason to spend His time on earth demanding that we serve Him, but rather we see in (Mark 10:45) that He “came not to be served, but to serve and give his life as a ransom for many.”
Andrew Sears is the Regional Director of Campus Outreach Augusta. He lives with his wife Jordi and son Caleb.